Blog Post // 2024-11-04

I Am Still Alive!

I am still alive! It is very much time for an update, and it took all the way until now for me to feel like I could give an update!

The truth is that music and I have been distant lately, except for in the car and here and there. In Mourning and I have a strong relationship, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. I think they are an awesome band! Sure wish they came to Canada! Sigh!

And I never stop singing. It is something I do every day because my voice is with me all the time, and is a source of encouragement. 

And when I actually am able to settle myself enough to listen to music it really reaches me. Just right now I am going through a period of silence. Has it ever happened to you? It has happened to me a few times in my life.

I have spent a lot of this year concerned about myself, trying to ensure I have what I need, trying to get through. Lately I am trying to get out of survival mode. I have had the realization that I have lived my life in a defensive, survival state, not trusting anyone and feeling like I need to protect myself. And there was truth to a lot of this. It was necessary. I think a lot of us end up this way, based on life experiences. 

But this last portion of the year my eyes have been opened up to a group of people that I have always had a heart for, but never had the opportunity to support. In many ways they have been my peers, with the brushes I have had with food insecurity myself. I grew up poor, I was a poor young adult, and I have had to live with family, and scrimp to make things last. But I have also been incredibly blessed because I have never had to live on the streets. I am now working with food insecure and unhoused people. I work at the local food bank and I am a part of program that tries to give people hope and help them set attainable goals. To take one step forward no matter how little it is. This has always been what I believe, so I am happy to be able to do this. I want people to know that they are worth it. You are worth it, whoever reads this!

Another top thing on my mind this year has been mental health. I got an official diagnosis of ADHD, which I already knew I had. It just helped me to accept the many times I have felt like I was falling short. To realize there is a reason why I do what I do, why my brain thinks the way it does, and why things don't come easy for me. (I know some of you don't believe it is a thing, but I believe it is just a type of brain some of us have) And with my own struggle working through mental health, I am trying to hopefully learn something and improve something.

I know I have said it before, we can only control ourselves. We can't control other people, but this has also been something that has been so apparent this year. In my life and interactions with family, friends, community, and especially in addicts. So many people have an addict in their life they love, they want them to get off drugs/alcohol, find meaning in life, become part of a community, but the person has to decide to do it themselves. 

I have also realized the value in supportive people, because the people that are able to crawl out of a hole are often the ones that had some support along the way. So let's try to be that person for someone. 

I am hoping to be able to do some band interviews soon, and maybe even some song reviews again. 

Thanks for your patience!

I am looking forward to listening to music again! I guess I better take a look at what is out there.

I promise my next post will have more to do with music!

Blessings!