
Interview // 2021-04-28
Vexed
Vexed, from the UK, has caught my attention. Their five videos have got me very interested! Their first album is just around the corner, only a few weeks away! They became a band out of desire for genuine expression, not wanting to be tied down to doing something their heart wasn't in.
I was very happy to be able to have a conversation with Megan, the band's vocalist. She proved to amaze me with her strength and bravery, and gave me a better sense of the band's healing journey through this album.
You guys are pretty new, and obviously this COVID situation has been crazy, but I am glad that you have an album coming out May 21st. That’s awesome!
Megan Targett: Yes!
You were saying that it is important to you to embrace who you are and be authentically you. How did you get to that place where you can love yourself and be okay with yourself, no matter what people think - no matter what?
Megan: I think it started from a very, very dark place, so I think to kind of get to that point from birth, you have to be told straight away that you are beautiful and you are wonderful, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. But I never really had that, and so it was almost the opposite. It was like: you are crap, you are ugly, you are not good enough, and so I believed that for a long time. And it wasn’t until I started having relationships and stuff as a teenager, and men continued to say those things, and I thought it was normal. It wasn’t until I got to the point where I was dating a guy and he was so abusive and nasty, and I was like, “You know what, why is this okay? Why should I be okay with being treated like this?” I just suddenly said, “no, fuck you! I am done!” It was from that moment on that I decided that I wasn’t going to accept anything less than good enough, and anything that made me feel good. I think it’s a choice - in some regards it is, and some regards it isn’t. I understand that I am very privileged, being a straight white woman, so I have it a lot easier than a lot of other people, to love myself. But I think it does come down to just making a choice of, no, I am going to, this is how it is, and anybody else that doesn’t like it can just do one. And it’s definitely a journey - it’s not something that you can just decide and do over night. I definitely have my days where I feel not so great, but I think it’s that acknowledgement of recognizing when you're having those days, and accepting them as bad days. But also, just as I said before, not allowing anything into your life that makes you feel anything less than good enough. And I think we are all a reflection and a sponge of who we surround ourselves with. When we surround ourselves with negative and poisonous people, we become poisoned. It’s so important to surround yourself with friends and family who do just love you for who you are, and nothing but positive, and then you will start learning how to love yourself more. So, that is kinda where I am at now.
Your album Culling Culture, can you explain more about the title means to you?
Megan: It was inspired by the whole "cancel culture" phenomenon, but we kind of wanted to make it more personable. In our group chats (we have a band group chat), whenever we are sort of talking about people in our lives that we didn’t like, or we needed to kind of get rid of, or who were just really negative, we’d always say the term, "they need culling." Literally, we are not going to cull them - but it was just kinda like, our kind of way of speaking. So, there is cancel culture going on, and we are writing songs about these people that we don’t like who are doing us no good, and then it just kinda clicked once day. Each song is about an individual person that we have gotten rid of in our lives. It’s kind of our own personal cancel culture, for a positive way. It’s our culling culture.
So, you are getting rid of the negativity with each song.
Megan: Yeah, one-hundred percent.
So, what is your band's method for composing music and lyrics?
Megan: We don’t really have a method. It’s organized chaos, so to say. We don’t tend to have a real structure to how we do it. Either, one of the boys will come up with a riff or rhythm, or I will come up with a lyric or a melody. I will be like, I've got this, and I will do a voice recording and send it to chat. And then we start building and building. We tend to write our songs around hooks. So Jay, our guitarist will write a hook, and then I will build on it. Or I will write a vocal hook, and then he builds on it. We kinda like to make sure that each song has something memorable and something catchy in it, and then we build off the hook. So yeah, it’s organized chaos - doesn’t really make much sense, but that's what we like to do.
So, is everybody involved in the process?
Megan: Yeah, one-hundred percent. We all kind of chop and change as well. Sometimes Will (our drummer) will write guitar parts, if he comes up with a cool rhythm. If the boys aren’t really feeling something that I'm liking vocally, they might have some suggestions. I've written quite a few guitar parts, but mostly we stick to our own instruments, but sometimes we chop and change, give ideas, inspiration. But when it comes to writing the songs we do all contribute, which is really nice. It brings us together more.
I agree with you, the songs are catchy because when I first heard your songs, I found they got stuck in my head - which is a good sign.
Megan: Yes, thank you.
The titles of the songs on your album, and the earlier singles all seem to address mental health, self-image distortion, victimization, standing up for yourself - all hard topics. Was there a song that stands out as being extra hard to write, for you, personally?
Megan: It would have to be Aurora. It's about a really difficult subject to talk about because it is about the experience I went through as a child. I was a victim of child abuse, and it was violent, it was sexual, and it was the most awful, confusing time of my life. It was absolutely horrific. Trying to write a song that’s heavy when you don’t feel like being heavy, was really tough. So, Aurora is kind of like our ballad track, I suppose. I do a lot of singing on it because like the only way I could approach the song was from a softer side of me. It has some screaming in it as well. I think Aurora, because of the topic, was the most difficult one to try to approach.
Very brave of you!
Megan: Thank you.
How was the experience during the recording process? Is there a memory that you feel you will never forget?
Megan: It was good. It was over a really long course of time. We didn’t just book a studio and go down for a month and record. We kind of did it in stages - we did 3 or 4 songs at a time, and this was spread over a couple of years. So, to us, the album feels really, really old. It’s bizarre. But probably the most exciting memory or best memory is we found out that Napalm wanted to sign us while we were recording our last song. That was insane.
Barbed wire, diamonds, a Mustang - these are things I have seen associated with the artwork. What do these things mean to you?
Megan: So, it’s a little bit of just being self-indulgent. A black Mustang has always been my dream car - I don’t think I will ever be able to afford one. We kind of wanted to keep that hard-looking, aggressive aesthetic in our music videos. We also wanted to touch on the horror theme because we all really love horror. The guy who makes our music videos, Adam, is a huge horror fanatic, and he wanted to get that across as well. Also, growing up on a farm, we were always surrounded by barbed wire, so it's a bit of a personal thing. It kind of comes across as edgy and hard, but actually, when I see barbed wire, it makes me think of home. Yeah, a bit strange. But it’s mostly sort of due to wanting to get across that aggressive, horror-type theme, really.
I also noticed that you carried over red lighting in your newer videos, as well as your pictures, I thought it was quite neat. I imagine it symbolizes something for you?
Megan: Yeah, it's literally the concept of "seeing red" - when you are so angry that you "see red." We wanted to get that across in all the music videos and photos. That the music stems from a place of anger and rage or betrayal.
Thank you for putting up information about getting mental health help after your videos and on your Facebook. When I was a kid struggling with depression, it would have been life-changing to have a band encourage that.
Megan: Thank you. Yeah, it's something we really wanted to get across.
It sounds like you saw live music and then you knew it was something you wanted to pursue. Where were you vocally at that point - what had been your experience?
Megan: I had definitely started my first band, which was terrible. It was a three-piece, and I was the drummer. We had a couple of bands going with my friends from my school and it was terrible. We just did covers and I hadn’t really found my feet yet at all. Like I said, I wanted to be the drummer of the band because I have always been really, really shy and don’t like to be the center of attention, so I wanted to be at the back just hitting things. But then when I discovered Bring Me The Horizon, and started going to those live shows, that’s when I was like, "ah, now I need to be a vocalist." I definitely hadn’t discovered my voice at that point, but live shows is what made me really want to.
So, you must have been using your voice in some capacity, to have the voice that you have? Right, like singing in the shower even?
Megan: Yeah, I suppose so.
It is amazing to me that you found your voice like that because it is a beautiful voice.
Megan: Thank you.
So, can you tell me about a piece of artwork (that isn’t music) that is dear to you? It could be on your skin, your wall, or something that you own.
Megan: I suppose my neck tattoo. It’s very dear to me. I got this quite recently, actually - I got it in October. It’s the Immaculate Heart of the Virgin Mary. So, I was brought up Christian. It’s not something that I talk about because I strongly feel that unless you are asked, faith should be kept to yourself. I had it done as a constant reminder of why I do this, why I am a singer, and why I have been put on this Earth. So, whenever I see it I remember I have to trust in my voice, and I have to trust in the messages that I have to say to people. The whole point of me wanting to be in a band and sing songs, and scream is for the love of music, but it's also because I feel like - especially now that I have been given a platform - that I owe it to my younger self to help those kids, and to be a voice for them, which I felt that I never had. So, yeah that is a reminder of that to just use it for good.
That is awesome that you are going to use your voice that way, and that your tattoo is there, right where your vocal chords are.
Megan: Yeah, that is why I chose to put it there.
Myself, I often go to music for different moods - for example, when I am excited or upset. Can you give me an example of a song you might go to for a very specific mood?
Megan: When we could actually play live shows, whenever I'm feeling a bit nervous, and insecure and feel like I need hyping up, I love listening to rap and grime. I love Cardi B. I am like, the biggest Cardi B fan, and Megan Thee Stallion fan, which might seem really weird, but I just adore them. A song I listen to to get me hyped up and out of feeling insecure would definitely be something like Bodak Yellow by Cardi B, or Girls In The Hood by Megan Thee Stallion.
If you had a billboard that everyone on Earth could see at the same moment, what would you put on it?
Megan: See, I am in two minds: the comedian and idiot in me would want to write something really stupid. Really stupid, just to make people laugh. Like something like, "Everybody poos and wipes their bum - remember that." But then, the other part of me that thinks, no, you got to use your voice wisely, is just "You are loved." I think that’s important.
Where do you think you got your sense of humour? Is this something that someone around you encouraged, is it just a part of your personality, or a coping mechanism? I just wonder because I also like humour.
Megan: I think it’s a coping mechanism, I really do. Yeah. Obviously, growing up in several difficult situations, I've always turned to making a joke out of things, always. Whenever I'm going through something really bad or tricky, I always try and make stupid jokes out of it. Are you the same? Does it come from that kind of place?
I think it’s like my dad always said, you are either going to cry about it, or you are going to laugh about it, so I try to make a joke about it. He was a total comic about everything.
Megan: That’s really cool.
Something came to mind when I watched your latest video, Misery. I have never been in confession, but I imagine if you were, you would feel sort of hard on yourself. So is that is what you were portraying in the video, or what was the story behind it? I'm very interested.
Megan: You are not far off, at all. It definitely that sort of thing. It’s inspired, obviously, by being in a confessional, and in that moment - I mean, I am a terrible Catholic, I haven’t been for years because I hate going - but it’s that moment when you sit in the booth and you do feel like you are being judged, and you do feel like you are laying your soul bare and telling somebody that you don’t really know everything you have done wrong. But for Misery, it was facing yourself, and telling yourself where you've gone wrong. And the whole song is about having anxiety and overthinking everything, and catastrophizing every choice you've ever made, and everything you've ever said. So it's that confessional of your good side, so to speak, that is really insecure and just cries about everything and feels like you have done everything wrong, and then your demonic side that’s like, no, I can say what I want, I can do what I want and screw what anyone thinks, but from a negative place. So it was me having that angel-demon conversation with myself.
During this stressful time with the pandemic, obviously it would be nice if people buy your album, but is there anything else that the fans can do that can help, or is encouraging to bands?
Megan: I don’t know. I feel bad asking 'cause everyone's been so, so cool. Just buying merch directly from us is the best thing you can do. It’s amazing to have a platform on Napalm, but buying anything directly from us, comes directly to us, so that's really, really helpful. Just sharing it, just keep commenting nice things. On the internet it is so easy to just be a bit of an asshole and write horrible things, so if you ever write something nice, it’s so nice!
Thank you so much. I appreciate it, and I really think you guys are going far. I am looking forward to this album.
Megan: Thank you so much for talking to me. Take care!
Playlist Pick
After interviewing Vexed, I decided to add the song Narcissist to my playlist.

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